On exploring our expressions

Coming off of Friday the 13th, I gave myself the challenge of investigating all the adages that I have inherited that don’t hold true for me. This exercise felt important and timely, as the more personal growth I do, the more I become aware of what isn’t mine — what I’ve inherited without giving it much thought. The impact of a single phrase can be powerful.

You see, we all legitimize the views and opinions of those we love or admire. It’s human nature to assume the phrases our loved ones peppered conversations with were harmless. But that’s a potentially harmful assumption.

If we are to write a better version of herstory, we need to dismantle the frames from our past that hold no value for us in the present. Are you willing to play with me here? Are you willing to investigate what holds true for you?

Have you ever actually had a bad Friday the 13th?

I learned recently that this date was once celebrated for symbolizing the divine feminine, the thirteen cycles of the moon and our own thirteen fertility cycles. But as history was edited and women were systemically suppressed, this tradition ended and the date became associated instead with bad luck. See how sneaky these adages can be?

Let’s keep digging.

What other adages and phrases are needing an update (aka tossing)?

Here’s a short list:

“Nice girls finish last”. (Uh, hell no they don’t! If they do, it’s time to change that!)

“Good girls don’t get angry”. (Excuse me, but I’m allowed to be really pissed off! Anger is a perfectly acceptable emotion that signifies a boundary crossed or sacred value violated. We ladies have all had a few of those!)

“There’s no sense crying over spilled milk” (unless there’s no left more for your coffee and you only take it blonde).

“Because I said so!” (Just because you’re an adult doesn’t make you right.)

“Black cats are bad luck.” (I’ve owned several that lived more than nine lives.)

“Obey your father and mother” (unless they are acting from a wounded state and are juveniles themselves. In which case, find a healthy adult to be your advisor.)

“Go along and get along” (Hang on! I’m allowed to say ‘no’ and set boundaries!)

“Young and stupid.” (Ouch. Some of the wisest folks are just landing on the planet and thankfully giving us older folks a wake up call.)

“I’m a real blonde” (implying stupidity. I’ve said this myself and regretted it always.)

“Love makes the world go round” (Unless you believe the world to be flat, in which case, well …Just seeing if you’re still reading.)

“It was just a joke’ (except to the person on the receiving end of your unconscious comment).

And lastly, “Break a leg” for good luck. (Enough said.)

So I’m committing to continuing this work.

Digging.

Excavating.

Figuring out what’s mine. What is not.

Deciphering what is congruent with my beliefs.

Interpreting the things repeated to me throughout my years

And determining if they are empowering.

I’m definitely tossing those that are not.

Sounds simple and maybe silly, yet you’ll be amazed how much is under all this when you dig in and keep digging. Dare I say it? We might even begin to uncover some unconscious biases that give reason to much of what has us stuck in old, outdated ways of being.

One phrase removed might open up a whole world of new possibilities.

Get inspired to dig, to ask, to inquire what in your vernacular might be keeping you from stepping more fully into your greatness?

With great love and admiration for your courage to dig in!