5 innate traits for women to adjust to gain more success.

Over the past several weeks, I’ve been interviewing female executives who have risen through the ranks to contribute in C-suite roles and on boards at many global corporations. My goal was to gain key insights on how they became successful and what advice they can lend to other women eager to create a positive impact in their own organizations.

Even if you are not a woman in a corporate career but rather a female working in your own business or considering launching one, the advice these individuals provided can be of great value to you. Of great importance is to understand the nuances that they share; what traits have helped them advance that could be beneficial for other women to employ.

While the results are still being refined, there are some key indicators that keep being mentioned that will certainly help you advance in leadership and accelerate your success.

With this in mind, here’s my shortlist of 5 innate traits for women to adjust to gain more success.

1) Know your value

You were hired because you have the skills and experience to do the job. It wasn’t an accident that you landed in that seat.

Your education and work experience showed insights into your capacity to bring something of value to the organization. If Imposter Syndrome is making you believe otherwise, seek support from a coach (like me) who is trained at helping you remember your brilliance and restore your confidence.

Men have this issue far less than women. In general, men enter with more confidence in their capabilities from the start. If they don’t know something, they decide to not let it stop them from learning the new skills or information required to push forward. They are more likely to overestimate their abilities, while women underestimate their abilities. It’s a bit alarming that this confidence, real or contrived, allows men to advance through the ranks significantly faster than women.

Another point to remember on this front: the most brilliant ideas are always doubted by someone. When you have a vision, ideas, innovations to bring to life, stand strong in your belief that you and your idea(s) have merit. Next, surround yourself with a support team that believes in you and helps get you to the finish line. There will always be doubts but the difference between the winner and the loser is where you put your focus the majority of the journey.

2) Take a seat at the table

One of the women that I interviewed shared a great story of learning how to negotiate the pecking order set by men. She said she learned early that the dominant male makes their move within the first five minutes of entering a room. He’s likely to grab a seat at the head of the table. He will speak first or at least within the first few minutes. These are examples of pecking order posturing that establish subconsciously their ability to lead.

Women tend to hold back and be polite, allowing others to find their seats first. So the advice here is don’t wait to be invited to the table or conversation. Take your seat at the table and remember that you’re their contribution. Take a stand on issues of importance. Speak up when others might be steering the group off track. Show your value.

3) Stop apologizing

Women frequently apologize when they have no reason to do so. We’ve been trained culturally to apologize in order to show we’re trying not to offend or when we are being timid about setting a boundary. Use the words, “I’m sorry” only when you have actually hurt someone and have remorse. Otherwise, replace, “I’m sorry” with a positive. For example, If I kept someone waiting, instead of “I”m sorry for being late” say, “Thank you for waiting”. The overuse of apologies subtly and energetically paints women as weak, so it’s important to practice and shift this behavior.

4) Be a team player

The fact that you are a woman has nothing to do with why you were hired. Many of the execs I interviewed pointed to women coming in with a chip on their shoulder or at least constantly feeling ‘different from’ the other members of the team. What I know to be true is that what we feel, we create more of. The executives all spoke of dismantling the need to differentiate yourself from others with regards to sex, race, ethnicity, etc. When you can immerse yourself in the culture of the company and the company is trying to create (their goals, bottom line profits, and shareholder value), your focus naturally goes towards that which will make you stand out in the most positive of ways.

5) Ask for what you want/need

There are a number of studies and reports about how different men and women approach the interview process. Women are least likely to negotiate. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to ask in the initial interview for an increase in salary. Men will also continue to ask for raises and bonuses more frequently than women, and often without having strong results on which to base their argument for more compensation.

Women on the other hand take what is listed for income at face value. They don’t do the market research upfront to know what their value is likely, so they start at a lower pay grade. This, coupled with fewer increases in pay (mentioned above), the women never close the pay gap.

The suggestions made by the execs I spoke with included negotiating upfront the pay you desire, asking for a more flexible work schedule (especially if balancing family), and even advanced learning to help excel your career growth.

Separately, one additional learning I found was that women don’t know to ask for help. Women learn early on to “just suck it up and get it done”. Culturally, most of the women believe it’s how we were programmed from an early age, including being told to “…be happy with what you’re given. Don’t make a fuss”. The result is that few women recognize that they can ask for a coach or other support needed to elevate them to the next level of their careers. Asking for help can feel like admitting a weakness rather than recognizing that the skills you have now are not the same skills needed to get you to the next level of success.

The Dalai Lama once said, “Western women will change the world” and I believe this to be true. Getting to the leadership spots where we can make an impact requires change and an awareness that we can’t continue to play a subservient role to men.

It starts here. Are you ready?