4 Steps for Holiday Surviving & Thriving
As I write this message to you, I’m prepping for a much anticipated trip to New York City to spend Thanksgiving with my daughters and their dad. The weather for travel is predicted to be quite hectic, with gusty winds expected to create delays and flight cancellations. While I am bursting with excitement to have this time with my favorite people, the tension in my body is growing by the minute. There’s just always so much to do so that we can enjoy our time away, let alone the added stress of weather complications.
As I lay in bed last night wrestling to get to sleep, I realized that the most important message I could likely share with you this week would be on the commitments I make to myself as we roll into the holiday season. With everyone even more stressed because of the pandemic, I’m hoping this message will bring you some comfort and solace.
For the ladies out there, juggling a career and all the pressures of family life, I want you to know how important it is to take this advice to heart. You are not made to keep pushing.
No one wins when you go without sleep and time to restore. These 4 steps could be the difference between a blessed or regressed next few months.
4 Steps for Holiday Surviving & Thriving
Slow down.
One of the most valuable pieces of advice I’ve learned is to “slow down so that you can go faster.” It made little sense to me initially until I came to realize that the pace at which we run is running us ragid. The hectic non-stop will make the most resilient of us fail. Slowing our pace allows us to regain our natural stride and get back into our own body’s natural rhythms. Each of us is human and our bodies have their own cadence for rest, nourishment, recharging, healing.
When we slow our pace and allow our bodies to reset, we can more easily align with the flow that is our own. We can feel and intuit what our bodies need and what is best for us.
With the slowed pace, we make decisions that are far more productive and appropriate for us as individuals.
Additionally, with a slower pace, we have the ability to gain a better perspective.
Try focusing on anything and the side of the road as you are driving at the speed of traffic on any given freeway. It’s impossible. Going fast keeps our focus limited to a small piece of landscape. It’s impossible to take in all that is present or pass us by at a hurried pace.
Slow down to gain a higher vantage point so that you can make wiser choices about what truly matters.
Speaking of what truly matters…
Do less.
Our minds will take us to barren, fruitless lands if we let them.
In the dark hours of the night, do you find yourself fighting with the voices in your head, the ones that issist you’re never doing enough? Do the mistakes of the last month or even year come back to taunt you? As women, I find that we carry an incredible amount of guilt and/or shame around for what we’ve not been able to accomplish, and especially at standards far exceeding the norm. I don’t see this same ferocious tendency for perfectionism in men.
During the hectic holiday season, the pressure mounts even more with decorations to complete, gifts to purchase and wrap, social gatherings requiring a certain look…
You know the drill, right? Why is it that we take on so much when the holidays are supposed to be about spending quality time with our loved ones and savoring the gift of connections?
The truth is, there is no joy to be found when you aim for perfection. Cut yourself some slack and allow others around you to see you as human. Eliminate some traditions that no longer hold meaning and create less complicated ones. Wrap gifts in old-fashioned brown paper with simple bows. Cook less. Spend less. Care more.
Years ago, I used to be a Martha. Things had to be just so all the time. We enjoyed entertaining but the pressure I put on myself whenever guests were coming was maddening. A friend confided that they really would appreciate just ordering pizza and getting quality time to talk over a gourmet meal with all the pomp and circumstance. It was a valuable lesson I never forgot. Since then, I’ve focused more on quality time with others over how things appear. Afterall, being present is the gift we all really need most now.
Drop into your heart.
I’m not your usual coach. My work includes lots of techniques to help my clients understand how to connect with their greater wisdom, the wisdom held within their hearts.
What I know to be true is that, when we drop into our hearts, we begin to understand what is true for each of us. We are able to hear the answers that are right and holy for us and we can begin to shut-out all the noise and directives from the outside world. For me, I can’t imagine navigating life without this priceless tool.
Last night, when pangs of anxiety woke me in the wee hours, I took some long, deep breaths and began to bring my focus into my heart. I took time to focus on the rise of my chest with the inhale and the deflation on the exhale, riding the breath like waves. Slow and steady, I repeated this process till the alarm of my nervous system was silenced. I held two points on my chest, just above my heart, with my thumb and pointer finger. Pressing gently, and continuing my breathing, all the tension released under my hand.
With the way clear, I then visualized a light beaming from my heart space, like a giant globe from my chest. I thought about my daughters and pictured them laughing and singing together - a favorite memory I recall for just such occasions. (A loving memory is a great way to connect to your heart.) I allowed myself to stay with the memory, breathing slow and steady.
Then I asked the question, “What is true about my situation? What do I need to know at this moment?” And, as the heart often shares, I heard, “All is well. You are loved. You are enough. Let go and enjoy all that you have already been given.” With a few more breaths and my mind now filled with gratitude, I drifted off to sleep. It’s a very simple practice that I encourage you to try so that you can begin to know what is truthful for you and prioritize accordingly.
Forgive yourself (and others).
There will be times when things go wrong. There will be times when you miss a meeting, a call, or an engagement you promised to attend. You will likely eat too much, maybe drink more than you intended, say something you wished we hadn’t, and create a few messes that seem unforgivable. But they are not. Please learn to cut yourself some slack. As mentioned before, no one is trying to do as much as you (except maybe all the other women standing beside you. Cut them some slack too please.) There is no value in holding grudges against past mistakes. Forgive and forget. Let more things roll off your back and enjoy the freedom created by this simple practice of letting go.
In short, decide that you have only a few small things to do with great love (a lesson learned from the exceptionally wise Mother Teresa.) With this focus, you will gain a new way of being with yourself and you will create the most precious and extraordinary holiday season ever.
The world needs more of your light, now more than ever. Don’t let the small stuff, the menusha, steal your shine.
If you struggle with these practices, reach out HERE. I’d love to support you with a free session.
My mission is to help a million women discover their next level of success (and joy). I invite you to be one of the lucky ones to create the life, the career, and the memories of her dreams.
Grateful for each of you!