The Danger of Comparing
There is no way to escape the illusion that everyone else is smarter, more beautiful, unaffected by the sun or aging, richer, happier, or rocking their career more than you. The proof is after all all around you. Just take a look at anyone’s social pages.
Comparing limits your earning potential
The greater dangers with comparison for women however is nothing to joke about. In a 2004 study published in the American Sociological Review it was shown how a woman's habit of comparison may very well be the primary cause for under pay and lack of advancement in her career.
Women tend to believe that they can’t apply for jobs unless they meet all the criteria listed in the position description (unaware that the information listed tends to be an employer’s wish list). Men, on the other hand, will apply with as little as a 50% match for capabilities. The result? The less experienced male will get the job and the more qualified woman loses her chance for advancement.
Comparing stunts your growth
Further, it has been proven that women tend to set exceptionally high standards for themselves, higher than most men. We assume the bar is just naturally higher based on witnessing what it takes to succeed. When we don’t meet these expectations, we crumble and lose our drive instead of evaluating the scenario more objectively.
We live in a world where we see more illusions than reality. As Steven Furtick so brilliantly said,
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel”.
We have to stop comparing. It is one of the biggest self-limiting patterns for women.
An important question to ask yourself
What is my comparison habit costing me? What career path did you not take because you felt you weren’t ready? What relationships did you fail to pursue because you felt you weren’t their type or up to their standards? There are numerous areas of your life where the comparison habit is likely to be depleting you of something wonderful, more aliveness.
When have you missed out on pursuing your dreams because you decided you had more work to do on your day job? Did you ever have the thought that you had to prove yourself in one area so that you could earn’ the right’ for joy in another? That’s another trap that many of the women that I support have and need encouragement to end.
Your challenge
I’m going out on a limb here. I’m going to stake money on this bet: There is a place in your life where, if you stopped comparing yourself to others, you’d have incredible, amazing, joy-filled progress. True or true? Could you go a week without making any comparisons? Ready to experience what you discover? (I hope you’ll share with us here when you do!)
One last thing - What I know with complete conviction: having worked with thousands of women from all over this planet, you are uniquely you for a reason. There is no need to compare. When you own your distinction, your rare traits and gifts, you discover your genius. And the world needs your unique, incredible genius now more than ever.
I’m here to help. Always.
With big love and great respect for all you’re juggling,
Sara