Know Your Rights!

Recent news here in the United States has led to an outpouring of debate about what are basic human rights. Having spent over 20 years coaching individuals (mostly women) on how to become empowered in their businesses and lives, I’ve come to realize that most of our issues with lack of power come from lack of belief in our personal rights. Taking an account of what you believe to be your fundamental rights will bring you immense awareness of (and therefore the ability to change) what holds you back in any and all areas of your life. 

Wilhelm Reich, an Austro-Hungarian born Austrian-American psychoanalyst, provided a look at the most important rights we must be given in order to have a healthy, stable existence. You’ve likely never explored these before and they can provide a rich, poignant understanding of your very state of being.

1.   The right to exist.

2.   The right to have needs.

3.   The right to take action (assert)

4.   The right to have consequences for one’s actions 

5.   The right to love and be loved.

How can you tell if one of these basic rights is impaired in your belief system? 

The Right to Exist

Lacking a strong belief in this area, you’ll play small, keep your head down, try to appear invisible, become silent in times of conflict. A person with issues in this area also often intellectualizes (spends time in their head) and doesn’t feel much; they can be disassociated from their body. 

The Right to Have Needs

A weakened belief in this area can be witnessed when you frequently put others’ needs before your own. You often make self-sacrifices, ‘taking one for the team” repeatedly. Additionally, you may struggle to even know what you want. 

The Right to Take Action

If you’re unsteady in this area of belief, you’ll likely present as someone who often procrastinates, avoids commitment, and is repeatedly late on deadlines. 

The Right to Have Consequences

Struggling with this right, you’ll often blame others for your own choices and actions, play the victim, and avoid being accountable. 

The Right to Love and Be Loved. 

Deficiencies in this area show up as discomfort in giving and/or receiving affection, being uncomfortable with hugs, or being around others when they are hurt or dealing with heavy emotions.

What are some steps you can take to strengthen your belief in these core rights? 

Begin with loads of self-compassion. Healing foundational cracks in our self-esteem doesn’t happen overnight. Often, it takes working with a trained coach (like me) who knows how to guide you delicately and deliberately to the next level. If you’d like support, please reach out HERE and let me know you’d like to work on your fundamental rights. 

Here are simple approaches for healing each of these areas that can make a world of difference. 

Healing The Right to Exist - Acknowledge yourself, let yourself be seen, use proactive communication, intentionally take a role that pushes you to be seen and heard, and check in with how you feel. 

Healing The Right to Have Needs - Become aware of what you need and be willing to ask for it. Let others know what you’re not able to do, set healthy boundaries, and get comfortable saying ‘no’ when you’ve become overextended (without feeling guilt.) 

Healing The Right to Take Action - Shift to a healthier state by getting an accountability partner, define what ‘success’ means to you, and take consistent action steps towards your goals. 

Healing the Right To Have Consequences - Start thinking about how your actions affect others. What outcomes could you create if you were more responsible? Begin to look carefully at the role you have had in everything that has come into your life. 

Healing the Right to Love and Be Loved - Begin by asking for more affection, reaching out more often to friends and family, staying present when others are emoting lots of feelings/emotions, and considering the benefits of compassion. 

As you likely can tell, this work is deep and highly individualized. And it’s not easy. It is, however, life-changing in all the best ways and therefore exceptionally worth the time and commitment you will devote to recovering your fullest expression of these essential rights.