This Just Got Real: Healing from Patriarchy Wounding

Last week, while doing some research for my work, I stumbled upon a podcast called “Defending Lady Macbeth” by Tracy Oswald. In the episode I heard first, she interviewed Valerie Rein, Ph.D., who recently published a book, “Patriarchy Stress Disorder”. 

In the interview, Valerie explained the research that presents that trauma is passed down through multiple generations, including the trauma caused by Patriarchal views about and judgment of women. 

I had a full-body visceral response to the entire interview. 

My ears began ringing and my chest got tight.

My skin tingled and my hair stood on end across both arms. 

For me, it was a giant piece of a puzzle landing in my lap. 

It felt as though nothing would ever be the same again. 

I doubt it will.

This one interview gave me the biggest insights into why I struggle to show up in my full power.

This one interview shed light on why, after spending untold thousands on programs to ensure my success as a coach and healer, I often find myself stepping back into the shadows.

This one interview created a cascade of memories flooding in for when, in my corporate career, at the peak of success, I felt terrified, objectified, and incapable of ascending to my full capacity. And this one interview allowed me to recognize that my relationship with my father and my ex-husband carried the same themes, each, in their own way, keeping me “in my place,” less than or under the authority of males. 

I wonder if you have ever had a  similar experience? 

I ask this today, not so much to stir a pot of discussion, but rather from the place deep within my heart that has begun to realize the power of my work. The real reason perhaps I decided to come to this planet at this exact time in herstory. 

Here’s the truth. 

I am a powerful healer. I am a spiritual teacher and coach who has insights and tools that have helped thousands of women find more peace, calm, clarity, and confidence. Many have shifted their limiting beliefs and begun having breakthroughs that changed their lives for the better. I have a large list of testimonials for the positive impact I’ve had on my clients, yet, even still, I know I’m playing small. 

I can feel my struggle, even as I write this.

Because any time I have focused and gotten very clear about what’s possible for me and my work, I’ve been punished in some way by a significant male in my life who said something like, “You can’t say that!” Or “That’s not right!” Or “You don’t want to do that” (with a tone of “just wait and see what’s gonna happen if you do” laced in.) 

Have you had a similar experience? 

My entire life and past lives replay this out, typically in dramatic, life-threatening, and life-ending ways. No wonder I have this trauma. No wonder it’s why I’ve spent the last four years learning and practicing on myself modalities to clear transgenerational wounds. This is important work, especially at this time in our world. 

In my coaching world, when I’ve shared my story, many men have approached me to say that they’d love for me to come teach them - to help them understand how to treat women. The conscious, woke men know the dynamics must change and they, like many of us, don't know where to start.For several weeks, I actually entertained this notion. I do work privately with some male clients with great success, but stepping into a room of all men terrifies me - and not in the way that typical public speaking might induce. It’s a real, conditioned response, deep in my DNA.

I’ll ask again. Have you had a similar experience?

I ask because I genuinely want to hear from you.

I want to hear your story and what it’s meant to you to be held back from being comfortable owning your power and brilliance. 

I’m creating the most important work now. 

Your stories, your input, matter and will help enrich the way I share. 

Please reply to this email with your comments or contact me directly at Sara@saraloos.com.

I am here to make a change.

Even if in small circles like my Facebook group or in bigger programs to the world, 

This work is needed now. If you’ve felt like a victim of the Patriarchy in any way, please share!!! 

Your stories will be kept confidential. This is my promise.

All who respond will be placed into a drawing for a free coaching package with me.

I want to make good on my commitment. There are tools and methods to end this trauma and the winner will get a full ride to experiencing how the healing can be significant. 

I hope you’ll all participate.

Until next time 

Much love and fierce courage for all that matters to you!