Do you need to be needed?

I recently heard a startling statement - one of those that brings loads of enlightenment but feels like a good punch to the gut. It’s packed with great insights that many of my clients (and even I) need to hear again and again. 

“Doing for others makes your purpose about being needed.” 

As women, we’re trained from our earliest years that good girls put others first. 

We’re taught that tending to the needs of others and being selfless is admirable, even noble. 

It wasn’t until my late 40s that I became aware that this dynamic is so pervasive and so unhealthy.  Why?

When your focus is always on how to support others, you fail to recognize your own needs. Constantly giving all your attention to others establishes a disconnection from your own, internal guidance. Read that again please. You are basically telling your mind to stop prioritizing you. It’s no wonder many women are so depleted and now need to put attention on self-care and self-love.

Much of my work focuses on getting my clients in touch with your inner wisdom, that voice inside that will always navigate you to your best answers, your zone of joy and genius. What I’ve found is that many women (and sometimes men too) struggle to hear this voice. Because of their focus on others, they’ve metaphorically created an energetic slab of concrete that now blocks and muffles this pristine guidance from being audible.

When you need to be needed, you give away our sovereignty. You no longer have authority over yourself, your desires and your needs. Often, when I ask my clients, “what do you really want?”, they can’t tell me. They literally have nothing they can think of in response. This is because they have lost the capacity to think of (much less prioritize) their own wishes. How can you manifest your dreams if you can’t even begin to identify what you desire?

Needing to be needed creates extreme codependency. You can only be as good as the last problem you solved for another. Your self-worth rests in the hands of others and their opinion of your value. Do I need to point out how toxic this is? Are you getting the point? 

How can you do the work you were called here to do if your time and energies are constantly fragmented by serving the needs of others? 

What would it take for you to pull back, detach, and test drive putting yourself, your desires, your purpose first? 

What would be possible if you did? 

Who would you be if all your energy went into listening to and following your own sacred guidance? 

Here to support you in this new path to freedom. 

Reach out HERE if you’d like to finally experience what it feels like to be living for you.