Are you overwhelming others?

Overwhelm is on the rise and many of my messages of late have been focused on this important topic. Did you ever stop to think that YOU might be the cause of overwhelm for others? 

New research shows that individuals struggling with overwhelm (along with high stress and emotional instability) are often the victims of bully-like behavior. Perhaps worse, those responsible for causing the harm don’t identify themselves as the culprit. 

Is it possible that YOU are a bully? 

You might be surprised. 

Here are Six Ways You Might Be Contributing To The Overwhelm of Others:

1    Expecting others to keep up with your pace

You might excel out of the gate and maintain your fast-paced stamina all day.

Others do not and, perhaps, for good reason. They may do their best work at a slower, more deliberate pace. Don’t set unrealistic expectations of others based on your own preferences. 

2     Thinking others think (or should think) the same way as you.

Your thoughts and behaviors are a direct result of all that you, as an individual, have been exposed to, so it goes to reason that no two people have exactly the same perspective. Don’t expect everyone to climb onboard with your views. Stay open to new ideas and thoughts. You might be surprised by what you learn. Per the research, the more diverse the views, the more productive and creative the outcomes. Learn to think outside the box of your current thinking. 

3     Using offensive, profane language

Slang words have become commonplace but they are best avoided at work. 

Often, there is a hidden double standard for who is permitted to swear while others are not. Further, many find cuss words offensive and lose respect for those with sloppy language. And offensive words to describe or label anyone are absolutely forbidden. 

4    Playing/having favorites

It can be difficult to give everyone the same level of attention and respect, but try.

Playing favorites creates a toxic environment that threatens the potential of others and feeds distrust. Keep favoritism under wraps and give everyone a chance to shine. 

5    Being dismissive of others’ interests

We have diverse interests, hobbies, and activities outside the workplace. Where someone spends time when away from their job is highly personal and tends to reveal what they value. Values are sacred and should never be judged. It is these values that can unite or divide us quickly. Be more patient and kind when others are sharing these personal bits about themselves. Most don’t tend to recover from infractions in this area.

6    Witnessing bad behavior and not speaking-up

This is where most people find themselves. Have you witnessed one of the abusive behaviors above and done nothing to stop it? Have you assumed that it is someone else’s responsibility to step in? Staying passive is as offensive as the original crime. It says you approve of what you witnessed. In a court of law, you could even be considered an accomplice. 

The truth is, overwhelm when left unchecked creates an expensive problem (for organizations and beyond.) Without addressing and eliminating poor behavior, you are unintentionally reducing the psychological safety of your culture and increasing the odds for accelerated conflict, not to mention affecting productivity in both the short and long term of your company. 

An initial and important step to solve bullying is to thoroughly understand the needs and behaviors of your team members. We are not alike nor are we meant to be. 

Diversity of thought allows for much improvement in results across the board, so embracing our differences leads to success. 

After coaching with individuals for more than twenty years now, I’ve come to greatly appreciate a set of diagnostic tools that provide keen insights into why others do what they do. Understanding yourself and those around you reduces judgment and provides the doorway through which understanding, connection, collaboration, and innovation is possible. 

Till the end of the year, I’m providing a complimentary assessment for leaders who are serious about making progress in their organizations in 2023. Let’s identify and eliminate whatever antagonistic behaviors you might be exhibiting in order to better motivate, engage and inspire others. If you’d like to participate, schedule a session with me HERE. 

I’ll leave you with a favorite quote, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” - Lao Tzu. Take the first step and the second will appear. 

Here’s to you and your courage to be part of the solution. It’s time for a new regime, a regime that supports the best for all.