Women. Emotions. And the workplace.

Have you ever cried at your place of work? 

Had one of those moments when you just knew you were going to say something you might regret because you were so angry or frustrated? 

Have you had a male colleague or boss comment that you were too emotional in a situation (or in general)? That you needed to reign it in and to have more ‘executive presence’?

This is something I’ve been dealing with a lot lately with my clients, the vast majority of which are females. 

With all the chaos and stress of the world of late, it’s no wonder. We’re all at wits' end; our emotions are heightened and creating a breaking point. 

While you know it’s not a good idea to hurl your emotions all over your workplace (or any place, really), it can be hard to know how to manage intense feelings in the heat of the moment. 

When tears want to roll, how do you recover your game face?

For more than 20 years, I've been teaching skills to maintain calm, confidence and clarity when addressing conflict or potentially combative situations so that you can show up as your most brilliant, capable self.

Hopefully, your organization allows you to be yourself, messy feelings and all when warranted. If not (and there are a lot of places of work that haven’t evolved to know how to deal with real, human feelings), having some quick hacks in your back pocket can prove exceptionally valuable.  

Several of these practices have been particularly popular these last several months with my executive clients. These can be hugely beneficial when the heat gets turned up and your emotions are particularly hard to manage.  When practiced with intent, I promise they’ll help you find the footing to say and do what you most desire. 

4 practices for recovering your game face

1 Learn this acupuncture point.  Make an “L” shape with your fingers by keeping your hand upright and your thumb out. Pinch tightly about 1/2 of an inch into the intersection of where your thumb connects to your hand. Hold this spot for the entirety of any conversation you have and breathe slowly.  You’ll be amazed at how quickly this helps your mind settle down and regain calm. 

2 Use the TAT pose often used by practitioners to help people with extreme anxiety to lessen their symptoms. The TAT pose has you place the tips of the thumb and fourth finger of one hand to the area 1/8 inch above the inner corner of each eye, with the middle finger of the same hand positioned on the forehead directly above the nose and about inch above eyebrow level. Your other hand should be placed on the back of your head, just above the point where the skull meets your neck. You can find a picture of the TAT pose online with a simple Google search. 

3 Run a dress rehearsal before you have a potentially challenging meeting or conversation. Sit with your eyes closed and imagine the details of the conversation being played out. Importantly, see the results as being positive. Imagine every possible objection from your audience and see yourself answering calmly, wisely. By running the victory ahead of time, you will have significantly better results when you sit down live to do this again. Just ensure you practice the winning meeting several times with all possible scenarios addressed calmly. 

4 Own your feelings. Feelings are important indicators of internal needs. My clients learn to use their emotions to better understand their inner world and where they need most to take a critical and specific to them only action. Yet, if you’re like many others and shame yourself for having these emotions, you make it harder to receive the lesson and move forward. In Buddhist cultures, they call this ‘The Second Death.” Until you lose the shame (or guilt/judgment), the emotion not only lingers but compounds. 

You may need to get some support in understanding what the big, emotional wisdom reveals is for you, underneath the intense feelings. That’s where working with me can really help. Here’s a link to schedule a complimentary session with me to discover what your emotions are trying to say. 

Your awesomeness deserves to shine. Don’t let your emotions take you sideways. 

Do the work and the work will work for you. 

Till next time - 

Big love and great resiliency to you!