Stop forcing it!

When you want something in life, do you use power or force to get it?

It’s important to discern the difference. This awareness is key to tipping things in your favor. 

Most of us are force-oriented. 

Force-orientation means that you are applying pressure in some way to ensure get the results you desire, typically faster. I can tell by the well-worn keys on my laptop, for example, that I must be frequently slipping into force mode when writing. You might think, “But what’s wrong with applying some pressure? Isn’t that what’s needed to get things done quickly? Perhaps; but most often, force carries with it negative side affects. 

Perhaps; but most often, force carries with it negative side affects.

You might think, “I need to push this along to get things moving more quickly.” 

But force carries with it lots of negative side-effects. 

Using force means working against nature. 

There is a natural rhythm and flow to everything. When you’re working against this inherent flow, life tends to go sideways. The Universe will always provide signals to ensure that you are aware of your micromanaging. The trick is to notice and head these signals versus ignoring them and continuing to push. 

Using force creates detrimental outcomes.

The consequences of using force (pushing, forcing, urging, efforting) take many forms. In the body, the outcomes manifest as physical alignments (bodily pain and exhaustion). In the mind, they present as mental disorders (anxiety and depression). In your spirit, these negative outcomes present as feelings of being ‘off track’, disconnected from your values or what truly matters most to your heart. Without this awareness and connection, it’s likely that you will struggle to find meaning and purpose. 

Working with power means you are leaning into what natively wants to occur, that which is the ‘will’ of nature.

Finding how to be in your power takes lots of personal awareness, along with a healthy dose of patience and persistence. This is a large part of what I teach and coach when working with my clients. No two people are exactly alike so the secret to mastering your personal power requires you to peel back all the layers of habits and beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve you well. For now, let’s start with one practice that can help you align with your power. 

One simple step to aligning with your power: The Yummy vs Yucky Test. 

This will sound ridiculously elementary yet I promise it will be exceptionally helpful when applied regularly. Whatever you are about to do, ask yourself, “Will this make me FEEL yummy or yucky?” Then listen and respond with enthusiasm to those things that feel yummy.

Not sure of what is yummy or yucky to you?

Take a few minutes to pause and imagine that you have taken the step you’re considering. What are the most likely and obvious outcomes? What about the next tier of outcomes? And, because each action creates a ripple effect, what will the consequences of this action be several levels beyond the original, apparent outcome? When thinking about the likely sequence of repercussions to your original intent, how does this decision make you FEEL? If yummy, you’re making the right choice. If yucky, decide to take a different action. 

Children are remarkably intuitive. They know and embrace that which is yummy. 

When children try a new food, they instinctively know within a few split seconds if they want this morsel or not. There is no hesitation or overthinking. Children will literally spit out that which isn’t yummy for them. I suggest you do the same. Yes, it really can be that simple. 

If you’re pushing to make things happen, stop and consider why you’re applying so much pressure to this situation.

Spend some time with this question; evaluate your answer deeply. Oftentimes, some precious wisdom will be revealed - like others’ expectations or desires for you, rather than your own. Never make decisions based on what others. Everything in life that is abundant and beautiful comes easily when you understand and lean into your own, inner knowing and power. Force just isn’t required or valued anymore.