On How to Evolve.
The political climate of our world today feels increasingly disparate. Choosing sides has become a common practice.
Life-long friends find themselves drawing battle lines and going to war with each others’ opinions. It may feel as though this is new territory but, in truth, this is the process by which we have always evolved. We are given the opportunity to unite and advance, or divide and fall. How remarkable it is that we might simply need to take a step back to change our perspective to understand this pattern and choose better.
For several millennia our species has been tested on this theory. It is only when we believe that we are more unlike than similar that we struggle and create wars and infractions against our own.
Recently I learned about a mind-altering, scientific model that changed my perspective on how easy it might be to turn the tide on our separation. Having experienced first-hand the mind’s ability to comply with whatever suggestions provided that serve the ego, this simple approach is worth testing.
Robert Kegan, a neo-Piagetian constructive-developmental psychologist at Harvard Graduate School of Education, defined what is called “The 5 Stages of Adult Development.” In this model, Kegan outlines how human consciousness progresses, much like stages of physical growth. Unlike physical growth however, few people make it to the highest realms or fully developed level of consciousness. The majority remain stuck in childlike states. Stay with me here; I’ll keep it simple.
Understanding these stages allows us to first know where we are in our own development, as well as understand others and have empathy for them because of their place in development. At best, the model gives us something to aspire towards.
Kegan presents to us that our ultimate goal is to be able to realize that all opinions are correct; all views are correct; all positions are correct. This is true because each of us have our own experiences and emotional filters that are real and therefore the outcomes from these are accurate. With this in mind, we should aspire towards a model of “this and…” - the dynamic tension of both opposing opinions, views, or positions being correct.
While challenging, I’ve been practicing this often with the intention of making it my world view. I am no more right than another; nor is anyone else more right than I am. It requires some processing, yes. It also requires us to be open to the notion that, if we take the time to explore (with genuine curiosity about someone else’s view) how they may have gotten to this opinion, we will more fully understand and connect with them. We have in this process the ability to have empathy, connection, and understanding that cuts through and eliminates our prejudice and judgements.
Personally, I’m loving this construct. What if there really is no conflict, just people needing to embrace one another’s path to meaning making?
I’ll leave you with this today.
What could change if each of us took one step each day towards making this practice our ‘go to’ position with everyone in our life?
A whole new level of consciousness is what is predicted.
So I’m here to say, it’s worth a try.
Will you join me?
I’d love to hear your stories when putting this in place.
What changes occur and how does this make you feel differently about others? Something tells me you’ll find this new practice to be remarkable.