The Energy of Divorce Divorce is messy, disruptive and painful. Even when we’re conscious and ‘woke’ individuals, we will be triggered in this process by all our wounds and stories. This is a time of turmoil, when the very earth beneath of feet can feel completely unstable. Much like a trapped animal, our natural instinct is to shift into defensive mode at this time. The problem is, this highly protective state, by nature of its energy, creates more stress and tension, further snow-balling the friction and feelings of chaos. Truth be told, no good decisions are ever made in defensive mode. And good decisions are what is needed to ensure your stable, happy future.
As soon as divorce becomes the direction your relationship takes, it’s natural to get in your head space. You need to think. You need to rationalize. You need to make lists. You need to hire an attorney, a financial planner, possibly a real estate agent. What else? The tasks ahead of you become daunting and, before you know it, destructive, debilitating energy takes over. Your mind begins to short circuit and all rationale, cognitive functioning begins to shut down. There are just so many decisions to make. And not enough time. First piece of advice: Just. Slow. Down.
I work with women who are desperately wanting to overcome all the doubt, pain and confusion of this process and who are willing to do what it takes to create the life of joy they desire.
Second piece of advice: Be willing to step into your emotions and take responsibility for them. Emotions point to the energy within and create a breadcrumb trail to the truth. I help clients understand how to recognize the truth of a situation by understanding how they feel. From here, they can take more calculated action. I help you go face first into each of these emotions and make friends with what we feel and, surprisingly without experiencing the agony you’d expect. Emotions like…
Grief. Divorce is the death of a relationship, the most intimate and important relationship we’ve had. One you were likely counting on to escort you out. Working together, I help you learn to anticipate grief and use it to better understand what you truly value.
Shame. What could you have done differently? Why are you feeling unloveable? Will you ever be able to trust love again? Shame helps us identify where you may be out of integrity with your values.
Doubt. Will you ever trust yourself to make a decent decision again? A favorite tool I teach is how to have all the best answers specific to you, at any given time. This helps eliminate doubt completely. Imagine the freedom of being able to quickly, easily, confidently choose your next, best step.
Pain. The heart is fragile. It holds the deepest of our emotions and simply cannot be ignored. It is the beckon of truth about everything, and right now everything is painful. The culmination of all the negative emotions becomes crippling, taking over our very identity and causing us to no longer recognize ourselves or our responses.
As a holistic healer, empowerment coach, and divorce mentor, I feel that my greatest joy comes when I’m able to shift the energy dynamics of a room, a situation, or a person quickly. Most people don’t think of the energy of divorce as important, but when you witness the ease and stability that can be brought in because of this work, you’ll soon realize this work can be a game changer. Simply put, It’s not what we do but HOW we do it that can make all the difference.
Practical applications of this work during the divorce process include:
- How you feel during these stressful and critical decision making times matters. I can help prep you and the space before hand so that you have a more peaceful experience and to allow you to be more conscious in the way you interact.
- Learn how to make the next, best decision for yourself and your family with ease. You can have all the right answers at any given time. Imagine if you could honestly never doubt yourself and your choices again. It makes the process run more smoothly and eliminates hours of legal fees and frustration.
- Relationships can damage us on a soul level and divorce tends to triggers old, childhood wounds. Old wounds, new wounds, all wounds and trapped trauma can be often be eliminated in as little as one session. This eradicates the constant confusion and instability you feel that keeps you from being able to take any action. This healing restores your attention span and provides a sense of new-found peace. The result? Be more willing to trust your advisors and determine what truly is in your best interest.
- Regain your confidence and courage so that you can take difficult steps to create the life you deserve. Many women, having subjugated their power for so many years, simply crumble in the divorce process. Having the confidence to know your worth and to firmly stand for what you value, you’re far more likely to get what they deserve from the negotiations.
- And when you’re ready to return to the dating scene, the work we do helps you understand yourself deeply and love yourself unconditionally, so that you can finally attract a partner that reflects back to you the love you desire. The work helps you eliminate the negative patterns you have had that magnetized other-than-ideal outcomes unintentionally and, instead, get what you truly desire.
Let’s face it, few of us were taught anything about our emotions and energy they reflect. Even fewer of us have learned how to employ our emotions and energy to serve us in a better way.Yet, when we begin to recognize how significantly easier and more smoothly our interactions become when we know these skills, our lives are literally transformed. The truth of all situations can be revealed, allowing us to access greater and greater freedom, peace, and pure joy.